Thursday, September 3, 2009

EZ's Movie Modown Part 1

DISCLAIMER: This was from a few months ago, just saying. This is an old post from my MySpace blog.

It's been awhile since I done this. I have been through a lot of shit in the past few months and well, I decided to do one of these just because I haven't done one in awhile. I can't go back to college because it is too damn expensive and my social security is still being processed. I have literally been stuck out here in the middle of F'ing nowhere. But enough about my sad pathetic life. There are upsides to having too much time on your hands.

I went to Texas last week with my dad to watch my niece Chancie graduate. (Chancie K, if you're reading this, Uncle EZ is proud of you, kudos) I'm back home now and this weekend I am going to South Dakota to meet Jodi for the first time. God, am I nervous!! I don't know if we'll hit it off in real life or not. I know we get along on chat and over the phone but I pray to god we can make it work in real life. I really do love her.

Well, enough of my sappy feelings. I finally got a camcorder and trying my hand at a web show. It may take off and it may crash and burn, but at least I tried.

Moving right along, I usually brag about what movies I've seen over the past few months and well, why not do another one? So, here goes nothing.


Okay, the first big movie I saw this year was Watchmen.

Usually, comic book movies are degraded by merchandising and overhype. Luckily, Watchmen was above all that. It was grown-up, violent, and did not have to be dumbed down to be whored out to kids, thank god! Overall, it was mindblowing, but my only gripe, and I know I'm not alone here is......where the hell is THE SQUID???? How can you not have the major bad guy in the movie? Instead, Doctor Manhattan goes rogue??? Are you shitting me?? I loved the comic (even bought a fresh copy and re-read it for this) but god. There is only so much you can change and leave out. Watchmen was good, could have been better, but bottom line. This wasn't a comic book movie for kids, thank god.

This was the shit stomper, the abomination of the decade. DRAGONBALL.

Good god almighty. If the filmmaker's goal was to rape one of the best anime series AND our childhood/teenhood at the same time, they succeeded with flying colors!! THIS IS BULLSHIT. This makes Batman and Robin, Howard the Duck, and Street Fighter look like Oscar worthy movies. First gripe, Goku is WHITE and Yamcha is Asian?? What is wrong with this picture? Goku in high school, that's just wrong. Roshi is not perverted, don't hide behind the "aiming at kids" routine!!! And Piccolo is not green, and only on screen for like 10 minutes??? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!

And that's just the tip of the iceberg of things wrong with this movie. This movie literally made me want to kill myself! Did they even WATCH the god damn show???? Now "Spike" wants to make 7 sequels to this stinker. I'd rather cut my eyes out and become a die hard Twilight fan before I indulge in that plan. I only wish MST3K was still on so they could riff THIS travesty. If ever a movie needed to be ridiculed to hell and back, this is it.

Moving right along, I went with AJ to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

It was kinda short and really hit and miss for me. Yes, Wolvie and Sabertooth were badass but the story moved kinda slow. What really pissed me off is how they hyped Gambit up to be in the movie and he's on the screen for less than 5 minutes??? BULLSHIT!! Gambit has always been my fave X-men character and when he FINALLY gets to be in one of the movies they just make him a punching bag for Wolverine. Same thing with Emma Frost, she's on screen even less!! Deadpool was okay but he could have been handled a LOT better, and he went down WAY too easy IMHO. Fuck this franchise. I may not even bother with the Magneto movie.

And last, but certainly not least. I went to see Star Trek yesterday. was surprisingly good. Going in, I had my doubts about how J.J Abrams was going to tarnish this franchise, but all things considered, it was great. I bought all the young actors as who they were playing. I didn't think that Chris Pine could pull off Kirk but he reeled me right in. And of course, Sylar as Spock, gotta love it. (it was odd seeing Spock with facial hair) When he beat down Kirk on the bridge, I half expected to hold his finger up and start to cut his head open! XD

I hate to side with the Trekkies on this one but that was a bitch move having Old Spock come back and change everything so now Abrams and his cronies can write whatever they want like the series never happened that way. I know it was "passing the torch" moment having the two Spocks meet and lord knows I loved it but I guess it would be redundant to remake Star Trek move for move. But i digress.....WRITER'S DODGE IS CHEATING, MR. ABRAMS!! and don't you forget it!!

Anyways, that's all I got for now. I'll come back next time with GI Joe and Transformers 2 and Inglorious Basterds reviews.

Now I'm going to rent Gran Torino. Maybe I'll review that next time too, I'll see you when I see you.

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